


The Price of being Marvel

by thesmolestnerd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brain Damage, Brain Surgery, Captian marvel au, Carol and maria are monica's moms, F/F, I don't know, Injury, Injury Recovery, Permanent Injury, Peter decides he's also their kid, alternative universe, completely different captain marvel origin, i'm not totally sure where this going or why, peter can't deal with tony's death so he just lives with them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-02-29 06:18:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesmolestnerd/pseuds/thesmolestnerd
Summary: Carol Danvers get in an experimental plane crash that renders her disabled. One of her military doctors suggests a procedure to help her go back to normal that doesn't quite go as planned...Stand alone, modern captain marvel AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who needs to update when I can just start writing new stories.
> 
> Also give me knew title suggestions please.

“The nurse told me you weren’t cooperating,” said Maria. “I don’t know why. We’re gonna have to get you up whether you like it or not, Carol.” Carl groaned.

 

The room of the rehab center felt fake homey. It was like the guest room in your grandparents’ house. Only slightly less ugly thanks to Monica’s artwork.

 

Carol was on a hospital bed in the center, home-made quilts and blankets tucked around her. Her hair was disheveled; her face had deep bruises and lines on her face. The medical equipment next to her, stood off and disconnected next to her. All of them were covered in art, get well cards, notes…

 

Maria walked to Carol’s side and bent down, giving her a peck on the lips.

 

“Good morning, baby,” she said. Carol’s face softened slightly. She grabbed Maria’s shirt and tugged her back down for a proper kiss. “Enthusiastic.” Carol let go and let her head droop back with a small lopsided grin.

 

“Can I check your…” began Maria. Carol squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. Maria reached over and pulled the blankets down and the gown up. She gently pulled down the adult diaper.

 

“It looks like the treatment is working,” said Maria. “It’s almost completely dry.” Carol turned her head away. “Sorry. I know it embarrasses you, but this is good. This is what we wanted, baby.” Carol’s throat bobbed. Maria nodded.

 

“Okay,” Maria said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that…” Carol sniffled and continued to look away. “Let’s get you dressed, okay?”

 

Maria pulled her sitting up. She sighed.

 

“C’mon. I can feel you not trying. Sit yourself up,” she said. Carol’s shoulder twitched, and she looked at Maria blankly. “Fine.” Maria rolled her eyes and picked up Carol and put her in her    wheelchair. “Hold your head up or else I’ll put the neck brace on you.” Carol rolled her neck around and glared at Maria. Maria smiled. “Thank you.”

 

Maria pushed her into the bathroom.

 

“Toilet?” asked Maria. Carol nodded stiffly. Maria picked up Carol under her arms and helped her onto the raised toilet seat and pulled her hands around the bars.

 

Maria went to gather everything she needed to help Carol get ready…hair brush, tooth brush, face wash, underwear, Carol’s soft pj pants, a t-shirt…Carol groaned.

 

“Use your words!” said Maria. Carol looked up at her and her nose flared. “I know you can say it. Say it.” Carol opened and close her mouth.  

 

“D-done.” Maria smiled.

 

“Okay. Good. Dress first?” said Maria. Carol nodded. Maria leaned forward and pulled Carol’s legs up to slip her feet through the pant and underwear holes. She pulled Carol and her pants up.  Carol swayed and gripped onto Maria’s shirt.  Maria smiled and helped her back into the chair and sat her up. “Good job.” Maria changed her shirt, washed her face and brushed her teeth.

 

Maria buckled the belts over Carol’s lap. Carol laid a hand over Maria, and Maria glanced up at Carol. Carol leaned down and kissed the top of Maria’s head. Maria smiled.

 

“Love you too,” said Maria. Carol grimaced and nodded. “Are you ready for breakfast?” Carol shrugged.

 

“We should go down to the cafeteria,” said Maria. Carol shook her head. Maria sighed. “Monica wants to have breakfast with you.” Carol shook her head again and grabbed her wheels, keeping Maria from pushing her.

 

“Hey. Don’t do that,” she said. “Use your words.” Carol bit her lip and shook her head. Maria sighed and rubbed her face. “I know you’re self-conscious, but you know it won’t get better unless you talk.” Carol shook her head violently.

 

“Fine. Then you have to go.”

 

“No,” said Carol. Maria smiled softly.

 

“Thank you for using your words,” Maria said. Carol fumed. “You won’t get better unless you--”

 

“I…I-I…know,” said Carol, gritting her teeth. “Hard. I…” Carol’s eyes seemed to go blank. Where…? What…? What was she saying? She looked at Maria, confused. Maria closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knelt down in front of Carol.

 

“Where did you go there?” asked Maria. Carol shrugged and shook her head. She still looked around, skittishly. Maria rubbed Carol’s knee. “Are you hungry?” Carol nodded. “Okay. Let’s go eat.” Maria got up and pushed Carol’s chair down the hall and into the cafeteria.

 

Monica’s face lit up when she saw Carol.

 

“Mama!” said Monica. Maria felt her heart warm. Carol gave Monica a shaky smile and had a steel grip on the arm of the chair. Maria rubbed her shoulder.

 

“You’re okay,” Maria said into Carol’s ear. Monica ran up and threw her arms around Carol’s shoulders. Carol tensed.

 

“Hi,” said Carol softly. Monica kissed her cheek.

 

“I got breakfast! Eggs and bacon for me and Mom, and oatmeal and this weird shake thing for you,” she said. Carol nodded. Monica grabbed Carol’s wheelchair and pushed her up to the table.

 

“Here, I can help,” said Monica. Maria stopped her and shook her head. Monica put her head down and began eating. Maria folded a napkin and put it over her stomach and tucked it into shirt collar.

 

Maria scooped a spoonful of oatmeal and blew on it before scooping it into Carol’s mouth. Carol chewed slowly.  

 

“I’m working on a robot for the 6th grade science fair. If it’s good enough I could even qualify to go to state or maybe even Washington DC,” said Monica. Carol nodded slowly. Only half of the words seemed to process in Carol’s brain. Chewing and listening were a lot to do at once.

 

They were her family. They were her girls. They were beautiful. Maria had a warm, kind smile, soft hands, and kind eyes. Monica too, had her childlike wonder still, just growing into adolescent.

 

“Carol…” Carol jerked back. Maria smiled at her, softly. “Hey. Remember to chew.” Carol nodded and realized then she was drooling. Her face went red.

 

“It’s okay, Mama. It happens to us sometimes,” said Monica. Carol jerked her head and nodded. She closed her eyes tightly. A pounding headache sat behind her eyes. Her vision blurred.  

 

“Drink some shake please,” said Maria. “Then say goodbye to Monica.” Carol leaned forward ever so slightly and took a sip. She coughed. Maria reached over and grabbed the cup, bringing the straw to Carol’s mouth. Carol tried to ignore her embarrassment. Monica was just trying to help.

 

Carol coughed, the drink going down the wrong way.

 

“Okay,” said Maria. “Deep breath.” Carol coughed into her shirt and gagged. “Okay. We’re all done. You did a good job.”  Carol took a deep breath and calmed herself down. Maria put her hands on the back of Carol’s chair and turned her around.

 

“Say bye to Monica,” said Maria. Monica threw her arms around Carol and kissed her cheek.  

 

“Love you, Mama,” she said. “Love you so much…” Carol nodded and kissed her cheek.

 

“Love…love you too…baby,” she said.

 

Carol was back in her room before she knew it. Maria rubbed her shoulder.

 

“Where’s your head at?” she asked gently. Carol shrugged. “Do you wanna get back into bed? You have PT in 90 minutes.” Carol nodded. The short interaction had drained her.  

 

Maria knelt in front of her and unbuckled the seatbelts.

 

“Ready? And over…” Carol was transfer over to the bed. Maria helped her lean back and adjusted her pillows. Carol on her side, a pillow under her head, between her knees, and between her arms. All of the sudden, Carol sits back up and grabs at Maria’s arm.

 

“Mon-mon-nica?” said Carol. Maria nodded.

 

“Yes. You just saw her,” she said. Carol still looked worried, even as Maria pried her fingers off her shirt and rubbed her cheek. “She’s okay, Carol. Peter is bringing her home. If you’re up for it, she’ll come back for dinner.”

 

“Peter…” said Carol. She knows that name. Why can’t she remember that name? Maria smiled at her softly. “Don’t worry about Monica. I promise she’s safe. You’re just going to give yourself a headache trying to remember.”

 

“T-too lay-yate,” said Carol. The pounding in her head was so loud she felt like she might actually be able hear it.

 

“Oh, baby,” said Maria. “Thank you for using your words. You can sleep now though.” She ran her hand through Carol’s soft, short blonde hair. Carol gritted her teeth. Maria rubbed at her jaw.

 

“In…on…b-bed…me…” Carol squeezed her eyes shut. “Bed…wuh-ith me…” Maria sighed.

 

“Carol…”

 

“A-asked? You…yuh-you…?”

 

“I know I said I would give things to you if you asked for them…” Carol looked up at her with tears in her eyes. “Okay, fine.” Maria slid in behind her. Carol let out a small sob.

 

“Thank-than-thank…” Maria nodded.

 

“It’s okay. I got you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little short. I hope you all like it!! Lemme know what you think!

Maria heard a knock on the door. She lifted her head up.

 

“Hi,” she said. Dr. Lawson stood over them and smiled.

 

“How are you two doing?” she asked in a hushed voice. Maria tilted her hand back and forth.

 

“Cranky and nonverbal and confused,” said Maria. “But she recognized Monica today.” Dr. Lawson nodded.  

 

“That’s good. She should improve. Slowly, but she should retain new information and remember old with more consistency,” Dr. Lawson said. Maria nodded and ran her hand over Carol’s cheek. Carol’s eyes fluttered but stayed closed.

 

“I need to do a quick exam. She can stay asleep for the first part.” Maria nodded. Lawson looked at all the machines and typed some things into her tablet. Maria combed a hand through Carol’s bangs. Lawson pressed her stethoscope to Carol’s chest. Carol’s eyes opened slightly. Maria knelt in front of her face and smiled.  

 

“Hi, Carol, baby,” she said.  “You’re safe. You’re at the rehab center. You just had a nap.” Carol still looked confused as Maria sat her forward, so that Lawson could listen to her lungs. Carol moved limply, like a rag doll.

 

“Can you take a deep breath for me?” asked Lawson. Carol’s eyebrows furrowed and licked her lips.

 

“Where’s your head at?” asked Maria. Carol shook her head and blinked. She didn’t look terrified…just confused, maybe? “It’s okay. You’re okay.” Carol nodded. Dr. Lawson stepped back into Carol’s view.

 

“Can you look at me?” She pulled a pen from her pocket. “Can you follow this with your eyes, Carol?” Carol glanced at the pen as it moved back and forth in front of her. “Okay good.” Lawson put the pen back. “Alright, I’m going to look at your scar…” Lawson tilted Carol’s head down. Carol immediately jerked away.

 

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” said Maria. Carol shook and held her head.

 

“Carol, look at me,” said Maria. “You’re okay.”

 

“No…no touch,” said Carol. Her words sounded thick, like she had cotton in her mouth, muffling her words.  

 

“She’s just checking your scars…”  Maria said. Carol shook her head. Maria rubbed Carol’s shoulders and worked u to her neck, before stopping and cupping her face. She looked Carol straight in the eye. “You’re okay.”  Carol shook her head, biting back tears. She jerked away as Lawson went to grab her head once again.  

 

“St-stop.” Tears started dripping down Carol’s face. “No…”  She shook her head and buried her face in Maria’s shoulder.  

 

“Carol…it won’t hurt. She’s just checking…” Carol shook her head.

 

“I-I…duh-duh-don’t…want-t eh,” Carol sobbed. Maria sighed and rocked Carol back and forth. Her and Dr. Lawson locked eyes. Maria nodded at her. Dr. Lawson reached over and brushed some hair away from the scar on the side of her head. Carol pushed her face even harder into Maria’s shoulders.

 

“No…”

 

“Shush,” said Maria. “I know you’re scared. It won’t hurt, baby.” Carol shook her head slightly. Lawson looked over at the scars and some of the scabbing over cuts where the drains had been.  

 

“It looks good,” said Lawson. “All done.” Maria helped Carol lean back and wiped the tears from her face.

 

“Good, good,” said Maria. “Good job.” Carol sniffled and rubbed her nose on her shirt sleeve. Maria sighed and leaned Carol back. “Good. Thank you.” Carol sniffled again.

 

“Now,” said Dr. Lawson. “I need to check your throat.” Carol shook her head and pulled her shirt over her throat.

 

“No touching, just looking,” said Maria. Carol shook her head. Maria reached over and pushed it down, tilting up her neck. Carol squeezed her eyes shut. Dr. Lawson glanced at the tracheostomy scar on her neck.

 

“All healed up,” said Dr. Lawson. Carol groaned. She rubbed her scar. Maria pulled Carol’s hand from her throat. “I’m going to test your reflexes.” She walked to the end of the bed ad starts manipulating Carol’s knee. Carol groaned as her thigh muscles tightened up, and she whined.

 

“Hey, easy,” said Maria. “Deep breath.” Carol turned her head and fidgeted out of Lawson’s grasp. “Carol…” Carol shook her head.

 

“Hurts,” said Carol. Maria nodded.

 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Lawson walked around to the other side and grabbed Carol’s other leg.

 

“No…no…nuh-no…” Carol clawed at Maria.

 

“She has PT soon,” said Maria.

 

“Don’t worry. I’m almost done. Just checking her joints. She’s been doing good. After this, I’ll get out of your hair,” she said. Carol sniffled.

 

“All…duh-done,” said Carol. “Duh-n. Fin—” Carol bit her lip and smacked the bed. “Fu-fuck!” Maria ran a hand through Carol’s short hair and rubbed her jaw to keep her from grinding her teeth. Maria gently rested her forehead against Carol’s.

 

“The PT will be in soon,” said Lawson. Carol pulled at the hem of Maria’s shirt.

 

“Don’t…wanna,” she said. She sniffled and sobbed.

 

“I know,” said Maria. “I know it hurts. I know it sucks. But you need to do this. You have to get better. Monica needs both her parents.” Carol shook her head.

 

“S-so hard…” said Carol. Maria sighed.  

 

“I know,” she said She kissed Carol’s forehead. “But stay strong for me… please.” Carol swallowed and nodded as Maria wiped off her face.

 

The door swung open again after only a brief respite.

 

“Hey, Danver-Rambeau’s. Do you want me to come back later?” asked the PT. Carol sniffled and shook her head.

 

“’M okay,” she said. Carol rubbed her face and took a deep breath. The PT walked in.

 

“Okay, good,” she said. Another person walked in. “This is my intern. He’ll be assisting me.” Carol looked over at Maria. She smiled reassuringly and nodded.  

 

“Want me to leave?” asked Maria. Carol closed her eyes and took another slow breath. She looked over at the anxious intern and changed her mind.

 

“No,” said Carol. Maria smiled softly. She picked up a magazine from the side table and leaned back on a couch in the corner of the room. Carol took another deep breath as the PT smiled at her.

 

“You ready?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chap! Really depressing, ngl. Next chapter will have Carol and Lawson discussing how she gets her powers.
> 
> Lemme know what you think!

She was not ready.

 

Carol wanted to blame the clumsy intern, but she knew it was that her failed body. She only got about half of her session done before she couldn’t do it anymore, and they had to stop. Her face was red with tears. And she hated herself. She wanted to do well, but she was weak and miserable.

 

Maria shushed Carol, rocking her in her arms until Carol gave in and dosed.

 

She wasn’t quite asleep when the door opened.

 

“You wanted to see me?” It was Lawson. Maria was still at Carol’s side, brushing a hand through her hair.  

 

“She’s in a lot of pain,” said Maria. “All the time, um, she can’t complete her therapy…It’s been over six months…” Dr. Lawson sighed.  

 

“It takes time,” said Lawson. “A lot of time…” Carol heard Lawson come closer. “I told you that the chance of a 100% recovery was almost zero. With any luck, she’ll get maybe 75% at best…”  Maria sniffled.

 

“Right, yeah. I know,” she said.

 

“I’m not saying you should give up on Carol. I’m not saying you should give up on therapy, but soon…it might be time to accept she’s not going to do much better than this,” said Lawson. There was a long stretch of silence before Maria sniffled softly.

 

“I’m okay. I know,” said Maria. She took a deep breath. “She’s just so strong. I love her so much…”

 

“I know,” said Lawson. “I’m so sorry. But you can get through this. Her seizures are under control. She can eat. The injections are working, and she’s getting better bladder control… I know it seems impossible, but every little bit is a mountain that you’ve overcome.”

 

“And there’s still so much left…” said Maria. “This can’t be it, goddammit. Carol has worked to hard for her body to give up on her now…” Lawson sighed.

 

“I know it might not seem like it, but I was going to suggest that you take her home at the end of the month,” said Lawson.

 

“What?” demanded Maria.

 

“We aren’t giving up on her. She’ll have exercises to do at home. She’ll have PT and OT 3 times a week…” said Lawson. “If you don’t think you can handle it…we can move her to a more—”

 

“No,” said Maria. “God, no. I’m taking my wife home with me.”

 

“Okay. I know the military is giving plenty of money to keep quiet after the…crash…” said Lawson.

 

“They should. It was there damn fault,” muttered Maria.

 

“What I mean is, you can hire help. A nurse or something,” she said. Maria nodded.

 

“Yeah…maybe…” Lawson stood up, the chair squeaking behind her.

 

“I can get you some pamphlets. Some websites…”

 

“Yes. Thank you,” said Maria.

 

“I’m here if you need me,” said Lawson. She walked out.

 

Carol blinked. Maria was hunched over. She had her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed.  Carol tried to lift her head up. Pain shot up her shoulder and she fell sideways with a grunt. Maria’s head shot up.

 

“Carol.” Her voice wobbled. “Hey, you.”  Maria sniffled.

 

“Don’t…cruh-cry,” said Carol. She opened and closed her mouth. _You and Monica can leave me if it would be easier. I love you. Thank you so much for being here. You deserve more than my shitty jell-o brain can give._ What came out was a choked noise. Maria smiled softly and kissed Carol’s forehead.

 

“I’m sorry, baby. I just want you to get better,” said Maria. Maria pulled Carol into her shoulder. Carol huffed and inhaled Maria’s scent through her shirt. “I love you so much, Carol. I won’t leave you.”

 

_Maybe she should. Maybe Maria should leave her. Family wasn’t supposed to be a burden. Love shouldn’t be this much of a burden._

 

“Ev-ev-thing…” stuttered Carol. She closed her eyes and squeezed her blanket. God, nothing worked. Nothing worked the way it was supposed to. She couldn’t even wipe her ass. And it sucked. She was young; she was fit. Until now.

 

She wanted to tell Maria to leave her. She wanted to tell Maria to move on and find someone better—

 

She wanted to tell Maria to wait until she could get better. She knew she could get better. She had to do it. She knew she…

*********************************************************************

Carol didn’t know how long she slept for, but when she woke up, she was alone.

 

The lights were dim, but the room was quiet. No Maria breathing… Carol pushed herself up. She needed to get better. She couldn’t treat Maria like this. She had to hold her own…

 

 Carol pushed herself all the way up. Her head spun. She squeezed her eyes shut. C’mon. Don’t be useless. Carol reached up and grabbed the bedrail. She grabbed her legs with her free hand and spun herself.

 

Again, her head spun. Bile rose in her throat. No. No. She could do this. She had to.

 

Clumsily, she swung her legs over to the side of the bed. She slid herself down. She could do it. She had to do it. Goddammit.

 

Her feet slid out from under her as soon as she tried to put weight on them. She smacked her knees on the cold tiles, and it took far too long for her to reach out her hands. Her face hit the ground with a _thud_. Her head screamed.

 

No. No. Shit. Fuck. She had to walk. She could do it. She wasn’t useless. She wasn’t invalid.  She could do it. She could fucking—

 

No. No. She could smell the metallic tang.  

 

“N-nuh-no…” Shit. Of course. Of course, it was going to happen right here. Now.

 

She blinked.

 

Maria stood over her with a concerned look on her face.

 

“Carol?” said Maria. “How do you feel?” Maria asked. Carol blinked. “How did you get out of bed? That was so stupid.” Carol kicked on of her legs and tried to push herself up. Mria put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey. No. Stay still.” Something wet touched her leg. Carol looked down.

 

“Fuck,” she mumbled.

 

“Hush,” said Maria. Carol bit her lip as tears leaked out of her eyes. Maria ran a hand through her hair as Carol sniffled. She blinked.

 

Carol opened her eyes again. She was on her bed. There was something wet. Her leg jerked.

 

“Carol…shh…” Carol looked down.

 

A nurse was cleaning of her legs. She was on her side as Maria held a suction tube in her mouth. She could taste blood. Carol leaned her neck back.

 

“Hey. No,” said Maria. “Let me help you.”

 

Carol’s face throbbed. She didn’t want Maria to help her. She could do things on her own.

 

The nurse finished cleaning her up. She felt a diaper slid on. Carol made a noise of dislike. Maria patted Carol’s cheek. Carol looked up at her.

 

Maria’s eyes shone with tears. Carol blinked and looked at her in confusion.

 

“You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay, Carol,” said Maria.                                      


End file.
